2019-05-14 18:59:56 来源: 铜仁信息港
1 : 英语笑话带翻译
I Wasnt Asleep
When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: Wake up, sir!
I wasnt asleep, the man answered.
Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed.
I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car.
The poor husband
You cant imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife, the man complained to his friend. She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.
“你根本没法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的难，”1个男人对他的朋友诉苦说，“她问我1个问题，然后自己回答了，过后又花半个小时跟我解释为什么我的答案是错的。”Where is the father?
Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
Look, said the elder brother. How nice these paintings are!
Yes, said the younger, but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?
The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, Obviously he was painting the pictures.
Does the dog know the proverb, too?
The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.
Its all right, said a gentleman, dont be afraid. Dont you know the proverb: Barking dogs dont bite?
Ah, yes, answered the little boy. I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?
1 Can we have our teacher back？
Once a superintendent of schools was visiting a three-room school. One room was very noisy, so the man grabbed a tall boy who had been standing up talking. He took the boy into another room and stood him in the corner. Five minutes later, a smalll boy came out of the first room and said, When can we have our teacher back?
2 Whos More Polite?
A fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was the more polite. The skinny man said he was more polite because he always tipped his hat to ladies. But the fat man knew he was more courteous because, whenever he got up and offered his seat, two ladies could sit down.
3 Expensive Price
Dentist: Im sorry, madam, but Ill have to charge you twenty-five dollars for pulling your sons tooth.
Mother: Twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five dollars for an extraction.
Dentist: I usually do. But your son yelled so loud, he scared four other patients out of the office.
--博才2 : 搜狗翻译带你用英文看“鲫鱼兄弟”的东北话
比如，已成为东北话代表的你瞅啥，用英文该怎样说?搜狗翻译是不是能将瞅准肯定义并翻译?在搜狗翻译中输入你瞅啥后，页面即出现了what are you looking at?的翻译结果。更有趣的是，相应的回话大哥我没瞅啥被搜狗翻译翻译为sorry，I want no trouble，man，而并不是逐词直译，更符合东北文化的语言情形。看来，搜狗翻译可谓是真正了解中华语言的精华所在，更懂国人到底要表达什么意思。
事实上，搜狗翻译不但能精准将东北话翻译成符合语境的英文，1些络流行语也能翻译的相当到位。例如通过直播流行起来的络热词扎心了老铁，表达的意思的是走心了兄弟或心碎了兄弟，用搜狗翻译的结果为my heart has broken ，old fellow 。再如，出自周星驰电影《食神》中的不明觉厉，搜狗翻译将其翻译为 I don`t understand what you said ,but I think you are awesome。精准的还原出虽然不明白对方在说什么，但是好像很利害的样子的本意。
3 : 英语爆笑笑话 带翻译 短1些
。。1Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?
Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, School-Go Slow.
2Mother: Why are you jumping up and down?
Tom: Ive just taken some medicine and I forgot to shake the bottle.
3Tom: William has asked me for a loan of five pounds. Should I be doing right in lending it to him?
Tom: And why?
Jack: Because otherwise he would try to borrow it from me.
One dark night two guys were walking home after aparty and decided to take a shortcut through thecemetery.
When they got to about the middle of the graveyard they were startled and stopped ere was this terrifying noise, TAP-TAP-TAP coming from the shadows.
Trembling with fear, they spotted an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at oneof the headstones.
Holy cow, Mister, one of them said after catching his breath.
You SCARED us half to death. We thought you were a GHOST! What are you doing workinghere so late at night?
Those fools! the old man grumbled. They misspelled my name!!
A man left for a vacation to Jamaica.
His wife was on a business trip and was planning tomeet him there the next day.
When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail message.
Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his bestto type it in from memory.
Unfortunately, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacherswife whose husband had passed away only the day before.
When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out apiercing scream, and fell to the floor dead.
At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen: Dearest Wife,Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
Your Loving Husband. P.S. Sure is hot down here.
Late one night a police officer was patrolling a rowdybar to anticipate possible DUI violations.
At closing time, he saw a fellow tumble out of thebar, trip on the curb, and try his keys in five different cars before he found his.
Then he sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes.
Everyone else left the bar and drove off. Finally he started his engine and began to pull away.
The police officer was waiting for him and turned on his light and pulled the driver over, readhim his rights and administered the breathalyzer test.
The test results showed a reading of 0.00.
The puzzled officer demanded to know how could that be.
The driver replied, Tonight Im the designated decoy!
A carpenter was giving evidence about an accidenthe had witnessed.
The judge asked him how far away he was from theaccident.
The carpenter replied twenty seven feet, six-and-one-half- inches.
What? How come you are so sure of that distance? asked the judge.
Well, I knew some idiot would ask me. So I measured it! replied the carpenter.
you pay taxes?
A nervous taxpayer was unhappily conversing withthe IRS Tax auditorwho had come to review hisrecords.
At one point the auditor exclaimed,Mr. Carelton, we feel it is a great privilegeto be allowed tolive and work in the USA.
As a citizen you have an obligation to pay taxes,and we expect you to eagerly pay them with asmile
Thank goodnessreturned Mr. Carelton, with a giant grin on his face,I thought you were goingto want me to pay with cash.
A man was driving to work when a truck ran a stopsign ...hit his car broadside, and knocked him cold.
Passerbys pulled him from the wreck and revivedhim.
He began a terrific struggle and had to be tranquilized by the medics.
Later, when he was calm, they asked him why he struggled so.
He said, I remember the impact, then nothing.
I woke up on a concrete slab in front of a huge, flashing Shell sign. And somebody wasstanding in front of the S.